effed up!

It’s so fucked up when you feel you have to stop being yourself to feel a little better... sexuality is fucked up! The world is fucked up!!! People who think that...uugghhh

I’m going to borrow a leaf from my ex’ blog and use nicknames for certain people.

What is it about dreaming about my dead mum all the time... it’s frustrating, annoying even. Her memory haunts me in such a way that I can’t bear to wake up every day like that. It’s not so much as to actually dream about her, but it’s the dream itself. I always dream she’s ok, or still struggling with her sickness. And almost all the time I wake up crying....crying like a wounded bull in a bullfight... no exit, just reality sinking in...

And speaking of the dead...Sol and Luzbel called me just now and last thursday. Is it time already to let the wounds get some air? I mean, is it over? Is it starting? *sighs* I really don’t know... What I need right now is some air...and space (but not the kind of space like ‘go away I need some space’ more like the ‘come back later, I need some air..I’m suffocating cause it’s hot you know)...

I’m going back to sims now...