Monday, July 14, 2008

effed up!

It’s so fucked up when you feel you have to stop being yourself to feel a little better... sexuality is fucked up! The world is fucked up!!! People who think that...uugghhh

I’m going to borrow a leaf from my ex’ blog and use nicknames for certain people.

What is it about dreaming about my dead mum all the time... it’s frustrating, annoying even. Her memory haunts me in such a way that I can’t bear to wake up every day like that. It’s not so much as to actually dream about her, but it’s the dream itself. I always dream she’s ok, or still struggling with her sickness. And almost all the time I wake up crying....crying like a wounded bull in a bullfight... no exit, just reality sinking in...

And speaking of the dead...Sol and Luzbel called me just now and last thursday. Is it time already to let the wounds get some air? I mean, is it over? Is it starting? *sighs* I really don’t know... What I need right now is some air...and space (but not the kind of space like ‘go away I need some space’ more like the ‘come back later, I need some air..I’m suffocating cause it’s hot you know)...

I’m going back to sims now...

Saturday, July 12, 2008

El extraterrestre

I find it hard to believe that my life would be any worse if my sisters were not born... or the opposite/same which is that our life would be better si mami no se hubiera muerto. Pues Daniel tiene ‘su casa’ en total abandono, sus hijas hacen lo que le da a gana y existe un sentimiento de powerlessness y anarquía en esta casa, digno de cualquier estudio sociológico.

Lo peor de todo es que no sé si es que no quiero hacer nada al respecto, no me importa si hago algo o no pues me voy pronto o estoy cansado de tratar de que me escuchen... nevertheless soy el loco en la casa que nadie escucha porque no sé de la vida, de la calle or any other relevant shit that influences how a house/family should be run.

Y soy el extraterrestre (this is a quote) en casa si trato de ejercer uso de la razón en cualquier aspecto de la cotidianidad... y me dicen desde chiquito que soy adoptao... for god sake’s...

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Resumen

So obviously this means que me gradué (aunque con B en economía, which is a fight that I dunno if it’s worth fighting for, but anway) y que regresé luego de 48 días de viaje... And I saw a lot, like I mean, vi tantas cosas que en mi vida podré ver de nuevo en tan poco tiempo. And I am happy for that opportunity...