Thursday, January 13, 2011

the thought of quitting...

Original draft from 10/4/2010
From casual conversations with friends, the thought of quitting grad school comes every once in a while. Every now and then (soooo bourgeois) I think about leaving school and do _____. Sometimes this blank includes going back home and find an odd job there (ideally a dream job) and make it work. The upside of this is being close to my family and saving loads of money on rent and the other amenities the big DC metro area offers. Other times, the blank means to stay here and find some job in the area and work, period! That would be cool, except I don't necessarily know if any of these plans would work...

Though I'm thinking about quitting, Im still trying to make it work. I feel in a place in my life that I don't know why am I moving forward with my current plan. Up until two months ago, the plan made sense to me. Up until 5 months ago, my current life made sense to me.

What happened is this: I had an awesome summer with friends, where I realized that having fun didn't necessarily involved being part of an elitist structure in which to study the rest of the world. I also realized that living for the moment, is a great way of living. Enticing hedonistic characteristics... On their own, it's ok. But add a dash of bad experiences with Academics and kaput! 

My recent interactions made me realize about the arrogance of Academia. Academics don't want to know the truth of your aspirations! They just want to hear themselves; to reaffirm their own ideas and to keep their complex world spinning the way they want it to. If you dare doubt your training as a future academic in front of them, prepare for their wrath! They will not accept it: they will shun you and ire and rancor will ensue.

I don't know if this post will ever see the light of day, because I am scared of the consequences...

And published it is!

No comments: