Maybe it's when you get hungry and your stomach starts to growl, when you realize how lucky you are for having friends. Friends who extend their hand in support when you most need it. But days pass and the carcass start to rot...And thus smell!
You take refuge by studying [like that will help get things off your mind] and start to think other things, but at the end of night, you are listening to your respiration in the dark bed that is not yours...You thank again your friends and they start to get tired of that word. But you cannot imagine yourself without their helping hand...And a random hug every week and so...
The ceiling is not yours and you start counting the dots and the dust in the corners. Not even the soothing smell of your friend's home alleviates your frustration of not being able to call it yours...Oh! But it's not even about that, it's about feeling comfortable and not feeling like a goddamn bum that's basking in someone's charity...Pride is such an awful thing when you get raised middle class!
The big home and the small home. The big plates of food, the little ones too. The Soothing odors again, that clearly distinguishes him, from him, from her! And how that reminds you again, of what you don't have right now. AN WHAT YOU WILL NEVER HAVE TOO!!!
...Be-Loved...And you start again thinking property. "NO! It's not property..."
You start thinking of hugs! "HUGS? What the hell is wrong with you? Be a man. A manly man!!!"
Kisses, a necklace...Utupia;and your stomach growls again. Reality snaps back, again, and again and aga...
No comments:
Post a Comment